The following process has been used successfully with children as young as five.
Integral Deep Listening
Dream
Interviewing Instructions
For Children
Joseph Dillard, LCSW, PhD
Is there anything you’d like to change in your life?
Is there anything else?
Is there anything else?
Have you ever had an interesting or scary dream? Tell me!
Why do you think that you had this dream?
If it were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee?
These are the characters in the dream…
Which character are you most curious about?
Now pretend you’re that character, OK?
(Character), what would you like to be called? What is your name?
(Character,) I’m going to ask you some questions, OK? We don’t want to hear from ____ now. Just YOU (the character). OK?
I
(Character), what do you like most about yourself?
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(Character), what do you dislike most about yourself?
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(Character), what part of ______ are you most like?
(Character,) if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any shape you desired, would you change? If so, how?
(Character), are you sure YOU want to change and not your human? It’s OK not to change if you don’t want to!
(Character), Do you ever get scared? If you’re scared all the time, give yourself a zero. Give yourself a “10” if you’re never afraid! Why?
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(Character), how much do you care? Give yourself a “10” if you care about everyone, or are always loving toward everyone, including yourself! Give yourself a “0” if you are mad at everyone, including yourself! Why?
(Character), how wise are you? Give yourself a “10” if you always know what to do and say. Give yourself a “0” if you never do! Why?
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(Character), how accepting are you? Give yourself a “10” if you accept everyone, including yourself! Give yourself a “0” if you reject everyone, including yourself! Why?
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(Character), how at peace are you? Give yourself a “10” if you’re always deeply at peace! Give yourself a “0” if you’re never peaceful! Why?
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(Character), how much do you watch what’s going on instead of just jumping in or reacting? Give yourself a “10” if you can always watch the drama of life and not get caught up in it! “Drama” is when you feel attacked, or a victim, or wish you could be rescued! Give yourself a “0” if you’re always caught up in life’s dramas! Why?
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(Character), if _______ scored like you do in all six of these qualities, would his/her life be different? If so, how?
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(Character,) if you could live ______ life for him/her, how would you live it differently?
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(Character,) if you were _____, how would you deal with the first thing he/she wants to change?
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(Character,) if you were _____, how would you deal with the second thing he/she wants to change?
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(Character,) if you were_____, how would you deal with the third thing he/she wants to change?
(Character,) why do you think _____ had this dream?
(Character,) why do you think _____ happened in this dream?
(Character,) would it ever be helpful for ______ to imagine that he/she is you and act as you would? When?
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(Character), how is ______ most likely to ignore what you are saying?
What would you recommend that _____ do about that?
Thank you______! Now I have some questions for ____.
_____, what have you heard yourself say?
Were you given any things you could change to make your life better? What?
What could you do differently this week to test (character) to see if his/her recommendations make your life better?
If this experience were a wake-up call to make your life better, what do you think it would be saying to you?
For the interviewer: Follow up. Help with application.
