Years of dyslexia have left Rex, a handsome, tall, fifteen year old boy nauseous when faced with taking a test and lacking in self-confidence, particularly when talking to others. He is afraid that he will be unable to finish school, find a successful career and have a good life. He lacks the confidence he needs to talk to girls.
In this interview it becomes clear that Rex’s problem is not his dyslexia but his fear, which paralyzes him and keeps him from doing things that will build his self-confidence. But within Rex, as with every person, lies the answer to such serious life problems, presented in a form that is uniquely suitable for each of us. In Rex’s case, the answer presents itself as a free, fun, all-terrain vehicle called a “Quad.”
Wouldn’t it have made a difference in your life if you could have found your own “inner Quad” when you were young? Rex is going to be just fine, because he is learning how to find and listen to his own inner compass. You can too!
What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
1 Fear of not being able to complete school.
2 Fear of not being able to take written tests.
3 Fear of not being able to make it up with oral work – not possible after the 10th year.
Which issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?
Fear: feeling sick, dizzy, as if I had a cold.
If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?
Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.
Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?
Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor? It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the shape that took form from your color and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind. If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!
Quad, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?
I’m on his left side and facing forward. I’m not in such good shape. I’m lacking oil! I’m turned off right now.
What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?
My freedom! Two people can sit on me. I’m fit for the road!
What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses? What are they?
I need a bit more power! My charger is empty all the time! I need a good charge! If not used regularly, I need a new charge. But if I’m used regularly, I don’t need charging much.
Quad, you are in Rex’s life experience, correct? She/he created you, right? What aspect of Rex do you represent or most closely personify?
I represent joy! Freedom!
Quad, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change? If so, how?
I need oil! I want to be turned on! I want more horsepower! 10-15. I want Rex on me! It’s more fun together! Ler’s go to the beach! We’re racing along the water! I like the soft sand, spray, the fresh air!
(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)
Quad, how would you score yourself 0-10, in each of the following six qualities: confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and witnessing? Why?
Confidence: 10 (Rex has a 5) Everything is easy! Nothing to fear! Compassion: 10
Inner Peace: 10
Witnessing: 1! I want to help people too much! That’s how I get into drama! But that’s Rex talking! I’m a quad I don’t do drama! Life is simple! So I score high!
Quad, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different? If so, how?
I’d be a god! I could fly! It’s very new! Even a bit uncomfortable! My wheels don’t have a hold of anything!
How would Rex’s life be different if he naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?
Confidence: Life would be simpler. Dealing with other people would be easier. I suppose he’d fare better at school.
How come, Quad??
He’d look with things with more equanimity.
Compassion: If that was a balance, it would be good for him. If he stops over- caring for others and cared more about himself he would have more inner peace.
What does he need to do to care more about himself, Quad?
Not over-reacting on his own issues; definitely not be over-caring about the issues of others.
Wisdom: That would help him to be at the right place at the right time more often! On the whole, whatever happens, he’d be OK…He might have a girlfriend then! I wouldn’t mind him bringing her along on me! He could do better at school, too…
Acceptance: He would definitely be able to accept himself better and also accept those times when things are not going so well.
Inner Peace: A BIG difference! He could handle himself better in various situations.
Witnessing: Maybe he’d be a bit more cut off if he wasn’t aware of any of the drama…
Are you cut off, Quad?
I am aware of some things, like grandmother living at home or children starving in Africa…
If you could live Rex’s waking life for him today, would you handle Rex’s three life issues differently? If so, how?
I would drive away from the fear!
Let’s say Rex is at school and taking a test. How would you drive away from the fear??
I don’t have any fears! If I take over, there isn’t any fear! Life would be simpler!
Talking to girls: I’d invite her for a ride!
I’d do more sports! It would give him confidence and power! Go-kart, handball…
What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of Rex’s life?
1. Long life and running power
How would Carlo’s life be different if he focused on your life issues instead of his?
It would be a more cheerful, a happier life!
In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Rex to imagine that he is you and act as you would?
At unhappy, unexpected events…Then he wouldn’t suffer so much. He wouldn’t be so concerned. He would be free and relaxed. …Anytime he just wants to relax.
Quad, do you do drama? If not, why not?
I have a lot of distance to everything else going on…
Why do you think that you are in Rex’s life?
Because I make him happy!
How is Rex most likely to ignore what you are saying to him?
Maybe not think much about what I’ve said….But I don’t think he can get rid of me! I’m a part of him! I’ll always be there for him!
Rex, what have you heard yourself say?
I could do with more self-confidence and that I need more distance from a variety of things. Also peace and equanimity. I can become those things by becoming it! I need to practice before tests, before conversations with girls, when I am in stressful events.
Others: I strikes me how practical the Quad was! Like asking a girl to come along for a ride!
If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of yourself, what do you think it would be saying to you?
Stay calm! Take it easy!
Clearly, one interview is not going to change a life-long pattern of low self-confidence and fear. What it can do, however, is give Rex an experience of his own untapped potentials that are real and accessible. It also can teach him how to tap into them and how to grow into those potentials so that Rex can grow up to live a full life and give the the world the gifts that are uniquely his to give! He can start by reading over his interview before going to bed so that his dreams will be filled with his potentials instead of his fears. He can practice becoming Quad and following its recommendations and see what difference that makes in his life. If he does, Rex will learn to trust himself, and on that trust he will build confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and the ability to avoid drama!