We cannot not fly in our lives until we deal with the tethers of trying to please others. You may one day find yourself in the sixth decade of your life and still be grounded – until you do. What to do? All of us have these bonds from our childhood years when we could not feel good about ourselves unless we pleased our parents, caretakers, and teachers. As we grew older, this need transferred to our peers, our bosses, our co-workers, our government, our spouses, and even our children. As a result, instead of listening to ourselves and pleasing ourselves, we easily find that we spend our lives torn between pleasing first this person, and then another who holds quite different expectations for us than did the first or that we have for ourselves. The result is that we please no one, particularly ourselves. Your mother and father are still alive, living rent-free inside your head. So are those bullies that teased you when you were six. Which inner voices do we listen to, and when? Which voices is it time to evict?

Your inner compass shows up in both your dreams and the challenges daily life brings to you. It is always trying to wake you up to the craziness of trying to please others. Your inner compass is constantly trying to help you see how you keep yourself trapped and show you the way out. Are you listening?

In the following dream and interview, Beautiful Dreamer demonstrates how you can use IDL to better understand this predicament and grow into a life that feels free and authentic for you.

 

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life? 

1. To have my own book store and hour radio talk show,

2. To have a loving supportive partner in life,

3. To swim with the dolphins

Tell me your dream:

I’m in a house that I’ve been in throughout the dream the door is open and I am taking a broom and cleaning knocking down cobwebs. I go to the back of the house kind of a back porch area and I start knocking down cobwebs and see that a huge bee is caught in the cobwebs and wonder why the bird that was tied up against the wall has not eaten it. I look and see the bird is no longer there. I worry that it is loose in the house. I look down the rest of the room and there is a huge fan. The bird still has the rope tied to it but it got loose and the rope is caught in the fan and the bird has all these cobwebs binding it’s wings. I am worried the bird will go into the fan. I begin to look to find someway to get the bird loose when the bird gets himself loose and starts to fly but of course can’t fly well because the cobwebs are still binding his wings. By the way this is a big brown Owl that I am talking about. He heads into the livingroom and hits his head against the wall. The door is open and I am telling him to go to the door to get out. He finally sees the door and flies out. I am then worried that with him not being able to fully fly he’ll land on the ground and an animal will get him. I look out the window and notice he landed on the roof top across the street and was beginning to lift the cobwebs with his beak.
 

Associations: 

I have no idea why I had this dream. I will end up interviewing two characters so I will change the color of their answers to make this easier to read. 

Which character do you think is most likely to express the viewpoint of your soul? 
Gosh it’s a toss up between the Owl and the cobwebs that bind her. I think I will go for the cobwebs.
Cobweb, would you please tell me what you look like and what you are doing?
 
I am light in weight yet seem heavy to anyone I wrap myself around…I can easily be broken and fall apart.
(Owl) I am a beautiful brown owl that has big yellow eyes. I am very wise and I am not afraid of anything. I am at this time fleeing this place that is trying to bind me and make me something I am not.
Cobweb, what do you like and dislike most about yourself in this dream?
 
I don’t like that the Owl has gotten away from me. I don’t like anything about myself in this dream.
(Owl) I dislike that I was first chained so that I could not fly and be who I am and second I do not like these cobwebs that have formed around me trying to keep make me into something I am not.
Cobweb if this dream were to continue, what would happen next? 
The Owl would be able to do what the Owl wants to do and not be held back.
(Owl) I agree with the cobwebs statement.
Cobweb, if you could change this dream in any way you wanted, would you?
 
Yes, I would keep the Owl bound to me so it could not fly away.
 (Owl) Absolutely I would be able to fly free, come and go as I wish with no one trying to change me or tie me down.
 
What aspect of dreamer cobweb do you represent or most closely personify? 
I am the part of her that feels she must be what others think she should be…
(Owl) I represent the part of dreamer that is magical, that knows how to let go and experience life. The part of her that is not afraid to do what others may not.
Cobweb, if you could live dreamer’s waking life for her, how would you live it differently? 
I wouldn’t  
( Owl) I would not care what people thought I would not feel the need to use energy to convince them that my way of doing things is not theres. This just gets you all tangled up in their energy. I would simply thank them for their point of view and keep living life my way. 
Cobweb would you handle their three life issues differently? 
No 
(Owl) Yes I would…I would let go of the words that others say around her that make her feel she cannot be the magical woman she is. She vibrates at a level that will bring her everything she wants but she allows words to affect her and then she doubts what she knows. She needs to stop feeling the need to defend what she knows, that’s where she gets tangled up. Just let it go.
 
Owl, what do you feel about DS in this dream and what message would you give her/him at this time? 
I like that she is allowing me to leave and even showing me the door when I miss it. I would tell her that her only obligation is to herself, not anyone else. Her children are grown her grandchildren have their parents. She should not worry how anyone thinks of her and what she does with her life. She knows things that she cannot explain and that others would not grasp. So she just needs to believe and be herself.

Owl, how would you score yourself from 0-10 in;

Acceptance 10 , wisdom 10 , compassion 10 , peace of mind 10 , confidence 10 and witness 10 .

What would happen if DS lived her life as if she completely manifested these six core characteristics of the soul? 
She would be happy and so would those who love her.