Transforming Nightmare Fear

Your dreams tell you how and why you are stuck.  If you don’t listen to them that stuckness expresses itself in your waking life.  In this lady’s case, it expressed as a pervasive fear of the future that had a limiting effect through self-doubt for years. The good news is that much of that is unnecessary and preventable with IDL. How would her life be different today if she had interviewed this darkness when she was twelve?  This is why we need your help getting these tools to children and to their caregivers: parents, teachers, doctors, and psychologists.

What is a life issue that you are dealing with now in your life?

The big issue right now is that, after only one year in our new home, my Australian husband has to go back to Australia and I will be living here alone.  This will be only the second time in my life that I will be sleeping alone in a house at night.  I didn’t fare too well the first time around, and I have some apprehension about this time. He may be gone for over a year, so I have to face it as my future reality.

Tell me a dream you remember.  It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand.

When I was 6 or 7 I had a nightmare that repeated itself over a period of a few months and re-occurred as a dream all my life, only it changed slightly.  The nightmare is me tied up in our barn on the farm. It is night but there is a circle of light around me and that’s all I can see, except for the darkness beyond the yellow light.  I am totally focused on that darkness, because I know that there is something or someone coming out of that darkness to get me. There is nothing I can do about it and I’m terrified.  I drew this dream out on paper and I am looking down on myself.  Three circles feature: one is the post I am tied to, the second one is the yellow light around me, and the last one is the darkness beyond in the empty barn.  Looking down like that upon the scene, it looks like a 45-record we used to have.

Why do you think that you had this dream?

I think I had this dream as a consequence of hearing about an incident that happened on our farm around that time.  The ‘village idiot’ whom we made fun of was a big, muscled man, and we were all afraid of him.  Our parents told us to stay away from him, because he wasn’t sane and he could be dangerous.  They even used him as a bogey-man to scare us into doing, or not doing, things or to make us obey them.  One day he went after our neighbour’s two girls, who had gone down by themselves to the creek to do some fishing. The stream had a bridge and it was in the back of our farm, and they had to cross our field to get to it.  All I remember was seeing the neighbour with his shotgun held high in the air, headed for the creek, hearing him say that if the crazy man had hurt his daughters, he would kill him. Confused and curious, us kids were all shuffled inside and told that nothing had happened, and to forget it, it wasn’t important, etc.  My mind must have filled in the blanks and the nightmare resulted.

If it were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee?

The Repeating Record of my Life.

These are the characters in the dream…

Myself as a little girl, the yellow circle, and the darkness on which I am most focused.

If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?

It would be the Darkness.

Darkness, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I am the Dark and blackness of life, the opposite of Light and whiteness. I am showing myself to Ramona for a very important reason.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

I am the opposite, or complement, of Light, therefore I serve a useful purpose. I allow people to sleep, animals and plants to rest when I’m in their presence.  What makes me feel powerful is that I appear on a regular basis; no one can stop me.  Also I can hide things within myself; I can pretend to be something I’m not – in effect, I can fool people into thinking I am something that I am not.  I can be whoever and whatever people want me to be.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

I dislike that people are afraid of me, that some of them are afraid when I arrive, but that’s just an illusion that I put out.  My weakness is who I am – dark and my insides are invisible – but there is nothing I can do about it.  People use Light to navigate and move by, but I am useless for that.  All I do is hide things, even the truth, so I consider that my weakness.

Darkness, you are in Ramona’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right? Darkness, what aspect of Ramona do you represent or most closely personify?

I am her childhood fear of life, of the future, her future.  She was afraid of the unknown back then, the uncertainty that life and her family presented at the time.  Which is very understandable.  I represent her fear of the unknown and also her life pattern as she will see it henceforth.  I am surrounding her as a circle of confinement, to tell her that she is caught in this circle/circular/pattern IF SHE WANTS TO.

Darkness, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

YES!  I would change into a benevolent Circle of Light and Freedom for Ramona, so she can see that she has nothing to fear from me.

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?


Confidence:  10!

I am confident of everything, because I am Light and Light contains confidence; it just IS.

Compassion:  10!

I am compassionate in all, as I show things as truth and for what they are, all the time.  That may appear harsh to some people, but to me it’s how I show my love.

Wisdom: 10!

Being Light, I contain all the wisdom of the ages, and stand ready to give it away.

Acceptance: 10!

Life is what it is ~ and acceptance is a part of living.  I hold acceptance as truth as I shine my brightness upon it all the long day.

Peace of Mind: 10!

I am Light; I am Peace.  By shining upon lies and revealing for what they are, I bring peace of mind wherever I go.

Witnessing: 10!

I was and am the witness to Ramona’s pattern of darkness.  Throughout her life, I have been her witness and now she is seeing me for who I truly am.   I am Light and I am a great Witness to her recovery, too.

How would Ramona’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all ten of these qualities all the time?

Confidence:  10!

I am full of confidence that Ramona can and will change her life for the better because she has a lot of confidence in herself now, since I have appeared in her life because of her own dreamwork in recent weeks.

Compassion:  10!

I wish only the best for Ramona, and I will accompany her in all areas of her life, showing her that I love her and care for her.  That she has nothing to fear from me ever again.

Wisdom: 10!

Being Light, I contain all the wisdom of the ages, and I will impart it to Ramona through her dreams, her life events, persons she meets and other circumstances of light to assure her of her innate, wise Self. Her wisdom will then carry over in the book she is writing, able to impart the life lessons she has learned in healing from her abuse, and how dreams have had a major impact upon that healing.

Acceptance: 8!

Now that I am changed into Light, I give and have much more acceptance of things in Ramona’s life.  There are still some deep core beliefs that need to be looked at and accepted, but we are getting there!

Peace of Mind: 8!

I am Light; I am Peace.  Ramona, however, is not full of Peace all the time, so we’ll work on that, too.  This ‘work’ will include dream work, journaling, healing artwork, and writing her book.

Witnessing:  10!

The book that Ramona is writing IS a witness to healing a very difficult and negative pattern that she saw in me in that first nightmare. Now, as a transformed Light shining in her life, I help her be a witness to her unfolding as an independent human being, and to her process of individuation.

If you could live Ramona’s life for her, how would you live it differently?

I would be the Light that is on all the time in her psyche, even and especially at night, keeping watch over her.  Her life, then, would be void of useless, old fears that were given to her by misguided people.  Her life would be lived with no creative fears or fears of the future.  She would finish and publish her book, as she is meant to do, with no worries about ‘what will people think?’

If you could live Ramona’s waking life for her today, would you handle her life issue differently?  If so, how?

I think Ramona is working through this life issue in the best way she can right now; the only think I would do differently is that from now on, she will see me (darkness) as LIGHT, and that was something she never did before.

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of her life?

The Book

Taking more exercise like Walking to help her health

Do more dreamwork in order to get to know all the other dream characters she owns

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Ramona to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

When dealing with other people. Because Ramona is an introvert, she has a hard time being social.  When dealing with her spiritual life.  And also, in her creative life:  she needs to Shine Her Light more in this area.

Character, do you do drama?  If not, why not?

Many people use me for their drama, but in reality, I am soft and true, so I AM not and do not DO drama.  Life is for living our dreams and use our imagination, not for being distracted with fake emergencies.

What is your secret for staying out of drama?

Always focus on the truth and what is to be done at the moment. Stay real.

Why do you think that you are in Ramona’s life?

To help her change her perspective on her future; to show her her true creative potential, and that her talent will help – show light onto – others who have suffered as she did.

How is Ramona most likely to ignore what you are saying to her?

When she lets clutter and outer distractions take over her life, then she loses perspective and she uses the distraction to procrastinate. This happens especially when she feels obsessed about doing things to ‘make money’ – also an outer drama-focus coming from others, especially her family.

What would you recommend that she do about that?

Clean out her environment of all distractions; follow a routine so she will be making progress instead of procrastinating; do dreamwork to keep perspective and listen to her dreams.  And WRITE her book – again making that part of her routine.

I think Ramona had this dream because

Her dream self – me – would some day reveal to her all the reasons for her addictions, neurotic behaviours, abuse aftereffects, and how she was able to cope through all of it and come out all the stronger for it.  This dream served her in a double way – yes, it was the darkness she embraced to go through life a misfit and unhealthy member of society, but in another context, the pattern spun out of this dream showed her that healing is possible, and it happened through – her dreams!  The more she listened to her dreams, the more she was able to see this pattern and start the healing process.  Now she can help others who have been through the same thing.

What have you heard yourself say?

That what is helping to heal me WAS the darkness itself transformed into LIGHT.  My attitude at the time of my nightmare configured how I would see this dream change into what my life became: full of fears of the new and the unknown.  Now that I know this, I see that most of the dreams I’ve had (recorded for over forty years) were pointing to this dream as a healing agent, if only I had looked at the pattern and stopped ignoring the forest for the trees.  What a revelation!

If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of who you are, what do you think it would be saying to you?

No Need to Fear the Dark, the New or the Unknown, because it’s all in the perspective, all in the attitude.  No Need to Fear rejection from anyone who will read your book – the LIGHT that it will shine out there will negate any negative response you may get.  Light brings wisdom, clarity, confidence. Follow the LIGHT and all will be well.

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