So you think you have problems! If you had nearly died several times because of heart failure and had been taught to always listen to your heart for irregular beating, do you think you might be afraid of dying? And if your very traumatic heart transplant ended up with your immune system attacking it and almost killing you twice, do you think that might make you even more terrified of dying?
Perhaps the worst part is the fact that this PTSD, which could hardly be missed, was not diagnosed by any of the countless medical specialists that saw this man over a twenty year period. But even if it had, they had nothing to treat it with that would have helped much. Few taught meditation. No one taught Integral Deep Listening, which has been shown to radically reduce PTSD in a matter of weeks. How does IDL do so? This interview points to some of the answers. The ebook, Ending Nightmares for Good, by this author, explains how in some depth. Commentary follows this interview.
What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
In 2007 I had a heart transplant. A year later I had a strong immunological reaction – a refusal of the new heart. I had another two years later. They put me on such a strong dose of cortisone that I had a psychotic break. Why do I have fear for another heart failure?
My second life issue: What am I here for? Three times I was nearly dead. My parents say that I have so much will to live. The constant fear of dying started in ’86 when my heart stopped beating. I had to be reanimated. What’s my task in my life. To be present? Maybe…?
My third life issue: What’s going to happen after I’m dead? What’s going to happen to my soul?
When to be polar bear? When to be fish? (A reference to the previous day’s interview at a seminar. The Polar Bear takes action; the Fish goes with the flow.)
Which issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?
What will happen to my soul after I die?
What is your fear of what will happen to it?
I hope it will go to God, but I fear that it might be born again and appear in a different form.
When you think about your fear, what comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?
Soul, are you listening to Walter’s concerns about you and your future?
First I will part from Walter’s body. At the moment I have no plans to leave his body. I don’t want to stay for another 120 years! After Walter’s body is dead I will experience freedom, lightness, and sky.
Walter wants you to go to God and not reincarnate. What do you want. soul, or do you care?
I don’t know yet what will happen to me.
Does death scare you, soul?
For me, it’s easier. I don’t hang on to anything. Not to ideas, not to people….Now I like being here; that’s what I know, but what happens after death….then I just know I’ll be light then. I don’t think about these things.
What do you think about Walter thinking about these things and scaring himself?
Walter is making it very difficult for himself. Now he has a body, a soul, and he has a spirit. He could have gotten far more damaged, actually, with everything that’s happened to him so far. Walter makes things much worse than they need to be by thinking about such things.
What could he do instead?
He needs to stay in the here and now, to not think about the future so much. To care for himself now. Not to worry about his parents dying and what will he do.
Do you get scared, soul?
I’m a treasure within my own self. I’m one with other powers, like heaven. I can breathe!
If you could live Walter’s life for him, how would you live it differently?
All these closets that Walter has inside him with all those drawers and compartments, they would get fresh air, they would get light. Nothing would be dark any more or feel like a burden. Everything would be filled with air and light.
If you could liveWalter’s waking life for him today, would you handle Walter’s three life issues differently? If so, how?
First Issue: “In 2007 I had a heart transplant. A year later I had a strong immunological reaction – a refusal of the new heart. I had another two years later. They put me on such a strong dose of cortisone that I had a psychotic break. Why do I have fear for another heart failure?”
Walter has made up his mind that he has been so lucky in his life that it is impossible for him to have more luck or happiness; he’s used it all up! Walter is somehow convinced that he has used up all his good luck. He also thinks that after he dies he will have no more good luck because he’s used it up already.
What do you think about that, soul?
I have always been there for him. We’ve been a good team; I’m going to be there for him as long as he’s alive. He hasn’t always trusted that I am there for him. He’s very skeptical. I don’t think he needs to be skeptical. I cannot be ill! Walter is in his body. He repeatedly became ill. I’m fine anyway! I don’t need intensive care. I can’t die! I don’t need to fear!
Do you think Walter is listening to you, soul?
Walter: “I know that my soul has never left me; it hasn’t said that it’s fed up – “I’m going to leave and do something else!”
Soul, are you afraid of Walter having another heart failure?
(Cries…) Walter: “I am afraid I won’t have any energy left to fight!”
Soul, do you have fear that Walter will die?
I don’t care. I will just accompany him.
Do you get tired? Do you lose energy?
I have no doubt that I will be there for him with energy. I don’t get tired!
My second life issue: “What am I here for? Three times I was nearly dead? My parents say that I have so much will to live. It started in ’86. My heart stopped beating. I had to be reanimated. What’s my task in my life. To be present? Maybe…?”
Soul, why are YOU here? Why aren’t you hanging out in heaven or somewhere?
Because it’s good that Walter is here. Walter has a task. He has his environment. Walter needs me to do his job here!
Do you need Walter?
Walter wants me to need him!
What reason do YOU want Walter to be alive for?
Right now I’m supporting Walter in his life having a job, having a relationship with Ula. He needs me. He also needs me to support his parents. Walter is worrying about when his parents get older and weaker…He’s afraid he won’t be as free as he is now… Walter always wants to be there for others. He has to learn to take time for himself, to care for himself. He doesn’t put time for himself into his daily schedule.
Soul, if Walter did that wouldn’t he be selfish? Shouldn’t he feel guilty?
No! Now is the time for Walter and me to be a team and for Walter to be good with Walter! Walter gets attacked by thoughts. I don’t!
Do you have a baseball bat to bat attacking toughts away, soul? What’s your secret?
I just don’t have to run and rush! Because I AM. And I am NOW! Walter always makes two thoughts out of one!
What do you think of that, soul?
I really wish for Walter to be at more peace and follow one idea at a time.
How can you help him to do that, soul?
I can give him some security, a feeling of safety. Walter then will know that his life won’t collapse from one moment to the next. He doesn’t have to work so hard! I live with Walter. I can see how he feels he has a lot of power and energy, but you can only do so much! I think Walter needs to take it easier. He needs to stop worrying so much about whether his heart will give out or not.
Walter’s third issue: What’s going to happen after I’m dead? What’s going to happen to my soul?
Since Walter grew up and I’m also familiar with the concepts in his culture and the idea of being with God, I would like to assure Walter that this is going to happen. His godchild died ten years ago. For Walter it’s a very consoling thought that he will meet the soul of this godchild.
Walter: “I like this idea too, but if I think of meeting the souls of bad people, I get slightly sick!”
What was the name of this godchild?
Claude, what do you think about this conversation Walter is having today with us and with his soul?
I just dropped dead from one minute to the next. Others were worried. I wasn’t! Walter has other things to do than to think about all this. It’s far more important that he puts down all his burdens and boxes and lives his life!
Another life issue: When to be polar bear? When to be fish?
Walter needs to be the polar bear when he needs to tackle things. When a job has to be done, when a task is ahead. It should take its time and stay as long as necessary. He needs to be fish when he needs to do things for himself, by himself, such as writing in his schedule book, “9:00 – Walk with Walter.” When he is the fish, he needs to stay fish and not quickly jump back into Polar bear just because he sees a job to do.
What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of Walter’slife, Soul?
1. I don’t want to be pushed around.
2. I want to stay in the light!
3. To be! I don’t think about the future and the past like Walter.
In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Walter to imagine that he is you and act as you would?
Always! If he becomes one with me, he will realize he has only one power, meaning he will cancel one appointment and take care of the other. Don’t cross out appointments in the calendar but white them out so that space is created! He will stop criticising himself for not putting things into practice what he learned in the past that would be good for him to do.
Thank you, Soul! And now a couple questions for Walter:
Walter, what have you heard yourself say?
I am surprised how much clarity the soul has!
If this experience were a wake-up call from your inner compass, what do you think it would be saying to you?
Take care of the things that have to be done and live in the here and now! Don’t get stuck in the past and don’t get stuck in the future. Stop thinking about how things might be. Tackle the work that needs to be done, polar bear-wise and make sure you make room to be a fish! I have nothing to lose by writing into my calendar: “Fish Time!” “Polar Bear Time!”