In Scripting 103 you will learn…
- The four life positions
- Reasons we adopt and maintain a life position
- Why you may have chosen the life position you did
- Common resistances to changing our life position
- Strategies for changing your life position
- How your scripted life position affects who you think you are, your relationships, your decisions, and your dreams
- How your life position can support or block your access to both the transpersonal and the sacred
What are the four life positions?
The term “OK” in Transactional Analysis refers to a person being good or acceptable. Often OK is abbreviated with a + and not-OK with a −. These two dimensions combine to create four life positions. Eric Berne said every fate relies on one of these four positions. They represent basic attitudes regarding how we value ourselves and others.
- I’m OK, You’re Not OK
- I’m Not OK, You’re OK
- I’m OK, You’re OK
- I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK
Example
Imagine Daniela arriving at a seminar. Her first thoughts may reflect different life positions:
- “I’m curious what this group will bring.” (+/+)
- “Weird people sitting in the room.” (+/−)
- “They are all more qualified than I am.” (−/+)
- “This won’t turn out good for any of us.” (−/−)
“I’m Not OK, You’re OK” Script
When operating from this view, you may see yourself as unworthy while others are competent and worthy. This can lead to submissive or self-sacrificing behavior and seeking validation or rescue from others.
“I’m OK, You’re Not OK” Script
This orientation tends toward superiority and condescension. It can make authentic relationships challenging and limit empathy or trust.
“I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK” Script
This position involves viewing both yourself and others as flawed or inadequate. It can lead to hopelessness, withdrawal, and difficulty in engaging with life.
“I’m OK, You’re OK” Script
This balanced life position involves respect for both yourself and others, leading to healthier relationships and effective communication. It supports growth, connection, and transformation.
Reasons We Maintain Life Positions
Life positions can feel familiar and comfortable, even when they limit us. Change may involve fear of the unknown, cultural conditioning, ego preservation, guilt, lack of skills, resistance from others, and cognitive dissonance. Awareness and reflective inquiry help reveal and transform these patterns.
Strategies for Changing Your Life Position
Methods that support transformation include:
- Story editing and reframing limiting beliefs
- Adopting a learning and growth mindset
- Challenging negative assumptions
- Interviewing resistances to understand them objectively
- Developing healthy relationships and support systems
- Using practices that foster presence, awareness, and flexibility
Impact on Transpersonal and Sacred Access
Your life position significantly shapes how you experience states of unity, sacredness, and deeper connection. Limiting positions may misinterpret or discount these experiences, while balanced life positions support integration and expanded awareness.