Do your life scripts affect your health?  Can they cause cancer? Can they cure cancer?  We don’t know, but this interview of a woman who had just been diagnosed as retaining abdominal fluid containing cancer, raises intriguing questions.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

 

1 Getting well again.

2 Taking care of myself better.

3 Finding a kind of inner freedom

 

Which issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?

Feeling as if I didn’t have skin.

When you feel as if you don’t have skin, what is that like for you?

I feel as if I could cry.  I have no distance.  When I first heard that I have the aciditis (water in the abdomen) I felt as if my stomach was weeping.  Usually I would cry.

If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?

 

Grey

Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.

 

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?

 

It’s a landscape that I saw once in Greece.  The sea. A storm. The sea was grey, like metal.

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the shape that took form from your color and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

 

Metal Grey Sea, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

 

I’m upset.  My waves are heavy, like metal.  The storm makes my waves.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

 

There is nothing that I like about myself.  My strengths are that I feel forceful but I don’t want to be forced.  I feel violent but I don’t want to feel violent. I am powerful but I don’t want to have my power expressed as violence.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

 

I don’t like my total being!  I feel like I’m not clear.  I’m grey.  I feel like metal.  I can’t really move.  I would like to be transparent and have life.  I can’t see if there are fish or plants in me.  I only see this metal.  The only movement are these waves being torn by this storm.  I’m a grey mass, more than the storm.  If the storm wasn’t there I think I would be clearer.  The light would come through. The fish and plants could be seen.  The metal aspect would disappear.

Storm, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I have the power to change the sea! I’m pulling the winds and making the sea grey as metal.  I can be violent but I can also withold rain and life.  I can bring the water from the ocean to the land that needs it.  I have a bad side and a good side.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

 

I’m bringing life with my rain to areas that need it.  I can move things.  I have the power to destroy.  I like the freedom!  I can be anywhere!  I move all around the world!

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

 

I dislike the destructive part of myself.  Sometimes I can’t see what I’m doing.  Sometimes I’m so powerful that I don’t recognize what I’m doing.

 

Storm, you are in Sarah’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right? What aspect of Sarah do you represent or most closely personify?

 

Her upset about bad news. Things she thinks she can’t deal with.

Storm, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

 

I would like to keep my freedom but I would like to be more caring about what I am doing.  I would still be a storm, but I would destroy less.

How could you be a big storm and destroy less?

I would agree to let some power go if I could keep my freedom.

Storm, are you free to change into a more violent storm or just a rainstorm or into winds only or into snow?

Yes!

Why don’t you try changing into different types of weather now? See how that feels for you?  As you change, look at the ocean and see how it affects it, if it does…

I see that!  I am changing the ocean!  I am even feeling more free!  (Cries…)

Some strong feelings are coming up for Sarah, Weather. What are they?

She is feeling more free than she did before!  In her behavior, in her reactions…from old patterns of behavior that told her to keep strong, to keep upstanding, to keep powerful.  Not to bend her head.

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

Weather, how would you score yourself 0-10, in each of the following six qualities:  confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and witnessing?  Why?

 

Confidence:   9

Compassion:   8 I want to have the same compassion for me as for others.  Changes it from a 7 to an 8…I can change as I like, as I think it is necessary…

Wisdom:   9

Acceptance:   9

Inner Peace:   9

Witnessing:   9

Weather if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

 

I would be the same.

How would Sarah’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

 

She would be able to handle her reactions without these old patterns she learned years ago. She would be able to stand back and watch and keep a certain distance between herself and people and situations.

If you could live Sarah’s life for her, how would you live it differently?

 

I wouldn’t change it, now that I know that as Weather I can be whatever I want!

If you could liveSarah’s waking life for her today, would you handle Sarah’ s three life issues differently?  If so, how?

 

1. Getting well:  If she has the freedom to change her weather or her reactions then she will fell better.

2. Taking better care of herself: That’s now much more possible if she is able to change.  She’s capable of such changes!!!

3. Finding a kind of inner freedom: Well, as Weather, I have inner freedom.  Now that Sarah knows that there is not only the storm but also the possibility of being weather,  she can be me, Weather, instead of always the inner storm. Then she will experience a lot more inner freedom!

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of Sarah’slife?

1. I would give her more calmness.  I would support her having more inner peace.

2. I would give her hope!  Encouraging her to be me!

3. I would tell her that she can keep her freedom and be me too. She has all sorts of abilities to change.

 

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Sarah to imagine that he/she is you and act as you would?

 

When she feels offended by news or by the behavior of others, especially by so-called men who try to influence her…macho men!

Would it be OK at different times during the day for Mark to ask you how you are, what you’re doing, and what you recommend, Weather?

 

Yes!  That would be helpful!

 

Weather do you do drama?  If not, why not?

 

No.  My weather changes may be dramatic, but I don’t do drama. Why should I???

What is your secret for staying out of drama?

 

I don’t get involved. I have the possibility to change.  It’s not that I’m playing a special role…The fact that I can always change doesn’t fix me in a special role.  I’m always in flux….

 

Why do you think that you are in Sarah’s life?

 

I am here to show her what possibilities she has not to get so involved that she feels without skin and unable to protect herself.

If Sarah were willing to remember to listen to you and become you, and follow your recommendations, Weather, how would it affect her physical health, if at all?  Would it make it worse? The same?  Better?

It would be better because she won’t feel so exposed or vulnerable or powerless anymore.

 

What would you recommend that Sarah do when she forgets about you, Weather?

 

I will remind her!  I will send her a sun ray!

 

Sarah, what have you heard yourself say?

 

 

I will feel much better and I will get better if I will behave like the Weather after being so stuck in being a storm.  That I won’t be so involved in conflict or feeling powerless or vulnerable if I become weather.  That I can fulfill my life aims if I behave like weather.  Not being a storm – always blowing and staying in patterns that are years old. Being able to be flexible and change with circumstances.  Not only to react as a storm reacts with aggression or conflict.

If this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?

 

It’s much healthier being weather than just the storm!


I think this came from my early childhood.  I would see my father abusing my mother.  I stood up for her and defended her.  I’ve supported women’s advocacy and women’s rights issues all my life.  I’ve never thought that letting go of that stance would be anything other than submitting to the abuses of patriarcy.  Because of this interview I realize that I can be a strong defender when I need to, but I can allow myself not to be also.   I am realizing I need to do that for my peace of mind and my health.


If the cancer-filled water collecting in my abdomen is like that metallic, stormy sea, then my body is reacting to the storm, which says it is my defensive, attacking attitude.  To give myself permission to change my “weather” means that the sea can calm down and become clear.  Maybe changing my attitude can have a positive impact on this disease.