Do you ever get so overwhelmed with your thoughts that you can’t make a decision? Do you ever let fears of getting too involved with people keep you from making friends? Does stress at work keep you from relaxing and making the best of it? If you do, you’re not alone! Samantha does too, but in this interview she met an emerging potential that not only doesn’t have those issues but has many practical ideas about how she can outgrow habits of mind that have haunted her for years!
This ghost sounds like a perspective that is invisible and dead, so it cannot be threatened or hurt by other people, so by being it Samantha moves into a place of interior security. Notice that this ghost embodies a perspective that doesn’t need the approval of others and is not concerned with what others think. It can blow off steam and tell others to kiss its ass! Notice that this ghost wants to help but that investment in drama reduces its effectiveness. It changes to a perspective that is less invested in drama and finds that it is better able to help others. This shifting out of drama causes it to be very relaxed! By taking this perspective Samantha can risk more because she will have more courage. The idea is to focus on doing one thing at a time, like gardening, that she really likes to do. If Samantha stays focused and takes on one project at a time she will not be blocked by a jumble of ideas. The theme of the ghost whispering in her ear or the ears of others is recurring. The implication is that Samantha will benefit by practicing tuning in and listening, perhaps asking herself, “What would my ghost have to say to me about this?”
What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
1 Having my head full of thousands of ideas and not being able to bring them into reality.
2 Not being able to make decisions really.I don’t know if it’s a will power issue or motivation or what. But it’s also a feeling of not really caring. I don’t always feel a need to voice my opinion. Sometimes I feel I am lacking the courage to speak up.
3 I sometimes think I have too few friends.When people approach me I often block them and think I don’t want any more intimacy. I generally accuse myself of not being open enough toward people.
Which issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?
It’s all the same strong feelings! People, contacting others. Lacking courage to approach people. I can see how colleagues meet, exchange things and go to the movies. I don’t know how they do it!
If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?
Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.
Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?
It’s a ghost!
Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor? It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the shape that took form from your color and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind. If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!
Ghost, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?
I am in this room in a corner and swaying from one side to the other! I have big black eyes and a knot on my head like you would see on an air balloon! And I have a long coat.
What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?
I like this balloony thing on my head. You know when you let out the air in a balloon? I can let off steam if people bother me! I just think “kiss my ass!”
What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses? What are they?
My big black eyes. They sometimes see too much…I see so many bad sides of people. I wish I could do something to help them. I can tell people about their bad sides. I would ask them, “Why are you behaving that way?” They don’t see me so they don’t get scared. I can hover about them and whisper and SCREAM!!
Ghost, you are in Samantha’s life experience, correct? She created you, right? What aspect of Samantha do you represent or most closely personify?
I’m everywhere! A part that sees and hears everything!
Ghost, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change? If so, how?
I think I’ll stay the way I am!
(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)
Ghost, how would you score yourself 0-10, in each of the following six qualities: confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and witnessing? Why?
Confidence: 10! I’m safe in my corners here! I can’t get hurt! I’m not afraid of the insults of people either. No one can see me!
Compassion: 7 When other ghosts come that need help I like to help them.
Wisdom: 9 Mostly I’m at the right place at the right time.
Acceptance: 8/2 I can accept myself but not so much the world because the people and their attitudes – they are selfish and so greedy for power, reckless, not caring for others, how destructive they are without thinking of the consequences.
Inner Peace: 3 I’m pretty restless. It’s a feeling of always having to watch out. I always have to look where drama is and I have to intervene. I want to change things
Witnessing: 3 I feel like I have to intervene.
Ghost if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different? If so, how?
I would still be a ghost but VERY relaxed! I would interact more precisely. I wouldn’t get involved with every drama that comes along. I would look more where my help could really help or make a difference.
How would Samantha’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?
I don’t know If it would be good for Samantha to be tens in all. She’s already too relaxed!
What if she scored like you do?
She would be more active, more satisfied because she would risk because she would have more courage.
If you could live Samantha’s life for her, how would you live it differently?
I would try to make more contact with other people. I would work at making relationships grow.
But you’re a ghost! People can’t see you! How can you make relationships grow? Why should she take your advice??
People don’t see me but I’m present with people. And I do whisper things into their ears!
What would happen if Samantha were present?
It would mean to be there instead of in her head!
If you could live Samantha’s waking life for her today, would you handle Samantha’s three life issues differently? If so, how?
1 Having my head full of thousands of ideas and not being able to bring them into reality. She’ll just have to materialize her ideas and go for it!
How do you materialize your ideas? You’re a ghost!
Difficult! I don’t have that many ideas to put into practice. It’s peaceful!
2 Not being able to make decisions really.I don’t know if it’s a will power issue or motivation or what. But it’s also a feeling of not really caring. I don’t always feel a need to voice my opinion. Sometimes I feel I am lacking the courage to speak up. It doesn’t take me long to choose to move from one corner to the next. I can whisper in people’s ears because they can’t hurt me! Samantha could try to be more like me…
3 I sometimes think I have too few friends.When people approach me I often block them and think I don’t want any more intimacy. I generally accuse myself of not being open enough toward people. I have many friends! If I don’t like someone, I send them away! If Samantha were more like me she wouldn’t have to think about it.
What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of Samantha’s life?
1. She should look to do things she really likes, like completing the garden! I wouldn’t put so much pressure on myself with all her ideas! I would just keep at it, do one thing after the other!
2. Invite friends!
3. Just not think so much! Instead, focus on certain things that I find really important like the garden and friends or just read a book!
In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Samantha to imagine that she is you and act as you would?
At work! She would be more relaxed and less stressed! She needs to learn to have more distance. Whenever she gets really upset I can whisper in her ear, “Keep cool! Relax! They can kiss your ass!”
Ghost, do you do drama? If not, why not?
No! I just stay present in case people need me.
What is your secret for staying out of drama?
When I think I might be pulled in I just close my eyes.
Why do you think that you are in Samantha’s life?
It’s time something happened in her life! For a breeze, energy, to come into her life! Like me!
How is Samantha most likely to ignore what you are saying to her?
She’ll just push me aside, repress me. She’ll pretend I’m not there!
What would you recommend that she do about that?
I’ll have to scream at her! I shall remind her of all of her goals. I’d like to be painted!
Samantha, what have you heard yourself say?
Not to think so much.Act more! Not to put myself under such pressure!
Spouse: I was not so surprised. I am of the same opinion Just starting instead of getting overwhelmed by so many thoughts and ideas!
“I was surprised that more ideas would be a problem, but I see they are sources of pressure for her.”
“How much self-confidence the ghost has and how it’s not afraid of what others think.”
If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of yourself, what do you think it would be saying to you?
Go ahead and take action! Think of the ghost when it gets really stressful at work; listen for me because I’ll be whispering into your ear!