Fighting Over A String
12/17/81
My glove is unraveling at a seam. I don’t have anything to cut the string with and it continues to unravel as I work with it. I finally cut it with my teeth; it is quite long. A guy comes by and grabs the string and walks off. I would not let go. (He was hassling me and I got angry and stubborn.) He disappears around a corner with me being dragged after him by the string. Then the string, which is several thicknesses now, is over the corner. I begin to be pulled into the air. I fight with my weight for a moment, then I let go.
Preference Predictions
Most Accepting Character: Guy
Least Accepting Character: Glove
Most Preferred Character: Glove
Most Rejected Character: Guy
Most Preferred Action: cut
Most Rejected Action: unraveling
Most Preferred Feeling: None
Most Rejected Feeling: stubborn
Sociomatrix Commentary
Dream Self:
String: I feel good unraveling. I don’t want to be cut. But I don’t like being messed with by this guy, either. I’m going to get caught in the middle just because I want a little freedom
Glove: The string belongs on me. I’m allied with Dream Self. But he should have let go. He couldn’t use the string anyway, once it had come off me.
Teeth: That string had no business coming off that glove! I wish he hadn’t needed to use me. That Guy’s a jerk. But Dream Self is a jerk too for fighting about it. I’m glad he gave up.
Guy: Dream Self’s a jerk. I think I’ll harass him (Mitchell at Steppingstone). I’m glad I caused him trouble and made him use his teeth and dragged him. I’m cool, but I’m basically a jerk. I’m glad he fought me so I could beat him.
Comment: The string likes unraveling. Very interesting! The theme here is disattachment – knowing when to fight and when to let go. Teeth are very opinionated. Why? Are teeth here associated with words? These teeth are a critical aspect of self. There is a general increase in affect as the dream continues. I didn’t realize the guy was Mitchell until I stated his preferences.
Dream Commentary
If you could change this dream in any way that you wanted, as long as it respected the rights of all fellow dream group members, how would you change it?
All We think you should let go of the string. It is of no use to us. Be non-attached. Don’t hold on to something you used to need and can no longer use. If you do you’ll just get hurt. (Debbie? Dina? – (girlfriends of the time))
Dreamage
My glove is unraveling at a seam. I don’t have anything to cut the string with and it continues to unravel as I work with it. I finally cut it with my teeth; it is quite long. A guy comes by and grabs the string and walks off. I figure out that he is trying to hassle me, so I let go. In fact, I take off both gloves and throw them after him, yelling, “Here, you’ll want these too!”
Waking Commentary
If you were this dreamer and were dealing with his waking issues – money, relationships, fears, career choices, physical health, spiritual development – would you do anything differently? If so, what?
Glove: When they hassle you, just cool out.
Teeth: Watch your words. Don’t get emotionally involved. in a self-destructive way.
Action Plan
read over dreamage
Actual Preferences
Most Accepting Character: Guy
Least Accepting Character: Teeth
Most Preferred Character: Glove
Most Rejected Character: Guy
Most Preferred Action: let go
Most Rejected Action: grabs
Most Preferred Feeling: None
Most Rejected Feeling: stubborn
5 of 8
Sociogram Commentary
This is an antithetical nightmare pattern. Most of the problem seems to be behavioral.
On the acceptance axis, we find critical elements in ascendancy. Guy is hassling Dream Self for no good reason and is most preferring of this pattern. Teeth are most critical of the pattern. They say, “Don’t hassle me; don’t abuse me; respect me.” While the majority of characters are preferred they are non-accepting in this pattern. There are similarities to the nightmare pattern in 11/11/81.
On the form axis, Guy is strongly rejected and both Teeth and Glove are most highly preferred. They signify attitudes such as, “Use but don’t abuse words and actions.” Neither Dream Self or his antagonist particularly like themselves. The Glove is closely aligned with Dream Self. String wants to be free – to be let go of. I am reminded of feeling manipulated to anger by some situations at Steppingstone, the adolescent male halfway house that I ran. Reflects how I sometimes react to the acting out of some clients.
On the process axis, the conflict is between choosing to let go or to fight. This group clearly rejects fighting in these circumstances. It is all about ego and serves no purpose. Being stubborn, feeling hassled, and fighting supply the destructive/ unproductive energy of the dream.
On the affect axis there is only one emotion, “stubborn.” It is a key, because this pattern could not exist without a stiff-necked resistance to letting go.
