What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?
1. Can I get used to living alone again?
3. Fear of loneliness
Tell me a dream you remember. It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand.
I am in front of an old broken down house that I enter. In the stairs of the entrance there is so much trash that it is almost impossible to get up them. My mother is there but doesn’t say anything. I get up the stairs but the room is devastated, like after a war. There are cats and rats. I give the cats some cheesecake – it’s better than nothing. They haven’t eaten anything in a long time. My mother doesn’t say anything. I start to clean up. I take clothes of mine and my ex-husband and put them on hangers. It gets a bit brighter. It’s all right. You could even stay there. I think, “Everything is in pieces. It’s a war situation. The house is not in good shape but one could stay and sleep in this little apartment now that I’ve cleaned it up.”
Why do you think that you had this dream?
I don’t know.
If it were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee?
“The Poor and Lonely Poet” It is like the scene from a painting with a similar name. In the painting it’s raining through the roof; everything is in chaos. The man is in bed with an umbrella!
If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?
Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor? It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind. If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!
Cats, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?
We are just here. No one was there; no humans any more. We were just waiting and hoping to get some food. Kelly comes with her mother and looks at the place. She has some cheesecake because it’s a special recipe of her mother’s. We cats think, “It’s better than nothing. Not so bad! Something to eat!” The rats are too big for us to eat. Almost as big as we are.
What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?
We don’t care about tomorrow. We can find our place sitting on the floor, looking out of the window. We don’t care about food – somebody will come and feed us!
What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses? What are they?
We dislike that we don’t go out and look for food. We should be more independent than waiting for someone to come to feed us.
Cats, you are in Kelly’s life experience, correct? She created you, right? Cats, what aspect of Kelly do you represent or most closely personify?
In a way she is accusing herself of the same things that we accuse ourselves of: not going out and looking for food. We think we are passive. Kelly cleaned up the place but she does not look for food for herself.
Cats, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change? If so, how?
We would become more independent and not wait for cheesecake to be brought. We will stay in the same place. It’s all right. We have our little structure of getting a mouse in the morning and one in the evening and relaxing in between. I can stroll around. I have my little corner in this apartment.
(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)
Cat, how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing? Why?
Compassion: 5 I don’t care if my landlord is there or not.
Inner Peace: 7 I am not happy that I do not have such high scores in compassion.
Cat, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different? If so, how?
I would lose a little bit of my passiveness. I would take more of what I want. I would be an active cat that can show more love to my human being.
How would Kelly’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?
She wouldn’t think any more about this loneliness. She wouldn’t feel lonely anymore. She would just go and take what she needs. She doesn’t because she has no trust. She thinks she won’t get anything back.
What do you recommend that Kelly do with her mother in this dream?
It’s all right the way it is. She doesn’t need to do anything more. I would prefer that Kelly did not bring her mother into this dream. There is always this expectation that she will say something negative.
If you could live Kelly’s life for her, how would you live it differently?
I would tell her to do something everyday to improve herself. Don’t be passive. Do something to make her life better.
If you could live Kelly’s waking life for her today, would you handle his/her three life issues differently? If so, how?
Loneliness: She has to have a house and it needs to be open. She needs to invite people who are positive and not negative.
Sadness: Be nice to yourself, to your body. Distracting yourself.
What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of her life?
To have something like a family
Produce something! Create something! Commit herself more for relationships. Give without expectation of receiving. Be generous.
Build her dream apartment better! Fix it up by integrating her things from her formal life into it. It’s a new, nice place that is open. Maybe she can clean up the rest of the house and build up the town. It’s after war.
In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Kelly to imagine that she is you and act as you would?
When she sits down in her apartment and thinks, “I could never make it nice and welcoming, and cozy. If she becomes me she will keep on moving. She won’t sit down and cry. That doesn’t changing anything. Buy me a nice cat bed as well!
Cat, do you do drama? If not, why not?
No. I’m OK the way I am.
What is your secret for staying out of drama?
I feel OK about who I am!
Why do you think that you are in Kelly’s life?
She has me to take care of! It’s good for her. It’s a beginning.
How is Kelly most likely to ignore what you are saying to her?
She has these moments when she sits down and cries!
What would you recommend that she do about that?
Stand up and just do it! Maybe she’ll start to feel better!
I think Kelly had this dream because
She is thinking that her home is all destroyed and she has to clean it up.
I think this dream event happened or (some character) was in the dream because…
Why are you in this dream, Mom?
I look at the mess in Kelly’s house! I’m worried about it. I would like to be closer to her but my worries and fears get between us. She’s much stronger than I am. I would like to see that she cleans up the place so that I am not so worried about her.
What part of Kelly do you most closely represent?
Anger. She doesn’t want to be angry. She doesn’t want me close – my fear, worry, and negativity.
House, what part of Kelly do you most closely represent?
I am both a physical home and a happy inner home.
What have you heard yourself say?
I want my mother to be present but quiet, like she was in the dream. I will find better solutions for the cat part of myself. I should not just surrender with a mess. I should build up a good place to be. Not just a house. It’s not the point. The point is to become a real house, a real home.
If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of who you are, what do you think it would be saying to you?
Build something up!