Irresponsible House Parent


Irresponsible House Parent


I am working as a house parent at a youth home.  Bonnie comes in to spend the night.  She sleeps in my room.  She is very distant; we don’t talk much.  I leave to go home late at night.  When I return, several kids have run off.  They try hard to blame me but I haven’t done anything.  (Not right.  I had not locked the front door when I left, as I should have.  But that wouldn’t have stopped them from getting out anyway.)



Most Accepting Character:  Door

Least Accepting Character: Dream Self

Most Preferred Character: Bonnie

Most Rejected Character: Dream Self

Most Preferred Action:  sleep

Most Rejected Action:  little talk

Most Preferred Feeling:  none

Most Rejected Feeling: blamed




'83 Irresponsible House Parent SMX 7:18:83

Sociomatrix Commentary

Dream Self   I was irresponsible.  I like kids, but I’m not a good houseparent.  I genuinely care about Bonnie, but I don’t trust her worth a flip.  I am pleased to see Bonnie but I feel awkward being this close to her physically.  She probably is here because she thinks she has no other choice.  I have some very mixed feelings about her.  I’m glad to leave.  It’s all in the past.  But I am still being held accountable for it – by myself, I guess!

Youth Home:  He’s a good buy, but lazy and irresponsible.  What’s she doing here?  She’s as irresponsible as he is!  Is she a client or a worker?  If she’s here to cause to ruble she can get out!  I don’t like her sleeping in there with him.  What’s she trying to do, tease him in so castrating a way?  She’s angry at him still.  I wish he’d stay away for good.  But no, he returns and feels worse.  These kids are good, but they tear me up.  He’s not to blame for them leaving, although he absent-mindedly forgot to lock the door.  If he had, his “x” would not have wandered in either.  The kids could get out whenever they wanted.  I’m glad they ran away.

Bonnie:    He really is a jerk.  He means well, but he’s a jerk.  I wouldn’t waste my time being with him.  I don’t know why he had to go and put me in this dream.  I’ve got better things to do – like scrub the floor.  Not a houseparent again!   Hasn’t made a bit of progress!  Can I help it if his is the only room in the house for a visitor to sleep?  These kids are brats.  If the fools wants me around I’ll just give him more hell.

Room:  Neither one of them belong in me.  This is history.

Youths:  We get to make a fool of good old Joseph one more time!  Great!

Door:  He’s Ok.  She’s Ok.  They would like to be closer, but they’re both scared stiff of each other.  So it can only happen when they’re asleep.

Dream Commentary

If you could change this dream in any way that you wanted, as long as it respected the rights of all fellow dream group members, how would you change it? 


Youth Home:  You and Bonnie on good terms, visit a youth home that is well run.

Bonnie:  I’m willing to do that.

Room:  Good.  And I’ll be so flashy I’ll make you laugh.

Youths:  We’ll be glad to see you again.

Door:  Good.  I will open to welcome you.

Dream Self:  I guess so.


I am working as a house parent at a youth home.  Bonnie comes in and we tour the house together.  The residents are happy to see us.  We joke about old times.  When it is time to leave, Bonnie and I thank each other for what we learned from each other and say goodbye for the last time, feeling finished and good about each other.

Waking Commentary

     If you were this dreamer and were dealing with his waking issues – money, relationships, fears, career choices, physical health, and spiritual development – would you do anything differently?  If so, what? 

Youth Home:  Pray for her when you think of her.  Pull out the dreamage and read it.

Bonnie:   Forget the past, Joseph.  We’re different people today.

Room:  Same as “Youth Home”.

Youths: We know you did your best to care for us.  Don’t remember the shit we gave you.  Remember the good times.

Door:  Close me on the sad past.

Dream Self   I’ll do What the Youth Home and Door recommend.

Actual Preferences 

Most Accepting Character:  Door

Least Accepting Character:  Youth Home

Most Preferred Character:  Door

Most Rejected Character:  Dream Self

Most Preferred Action:  left

Most Rejected Action:  run away

Most Preferred Feeling:  blamed

Most Rejected Feeling:  none

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'83 Irresponsible House Parent SGM 7:18:83

 Sociogram Commentary

There is opposition on every axis except the affective, and that is only because there is only one emotion recorded in the dream account.  This is one of the most stress-producing sociogram patterns produced in this series.  Interestingly, the Youth Home and  its door are poles apart.  The door is most accepting of the dream action while the youth home, which is victimized in the dream, is most rejecting.   The Door simply observes and facilitates the choices made by the Characters.  It is impartial.   A rather negative emotion, blaming, is preferred by some members of the group, because they consider it appropriate that Dream Self blame himself.   This is related to the fact that Dream Self is most rejected while the Door is most preferred (in its neutrality) of all dream group members.

Irresponsible House Parents '83

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