Learning to Love Yourself

Do you feel unloved while taking responsibility for the happiness of others?  Do you make yourself feel guilty, anxious, and depressed?  Just like for this lady, there are parts of you that see how you are stuck and know what you need to do to get unstuck.

What life issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?

Fear of being disabled.  I make myself feel guilty.  I get anxious and depressed.  I smoke and drink alcohol in the evening.

If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?


Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?

A monster with holes!

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the shape that took form from your color and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Monster, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I have holes and I’m soft and moving.  I’m not dangerous.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

I like my holes because they are flexible and soft. They are sometimes open and fold on each other.  They are transparent.  I like  that I am not material.  That I can disappear!  I am so flexible and so soft!

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

I don’t like that I’m black.  That there is always a distance. Nobody likes me.  That I am nothing.  They are scared of me!

Monster, you are in Martina’s life experience, correct?  They created you, right? What aspect of Martina do you represent or most closely personify?

Her heart!

Cries…Some feelings came up for Martina, Monster…

That nobody loves her like she is…

Monster, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

I would be white!  I feel lighter and people can see me!  They can see me positively or spiritually.

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in each of the following six qualities:  confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence:   8

Compassion: 10

Wisdom: 10

Acceptance: 10

Inner Peace: 10

Witnessing: 10

Monster,  if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

I would expand!  I would be bigger and dance!

How would Martina’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

She wouldn’t be scared!  She would be happier in her world and her environment!  We would laugh more and there would be health!  She would be healthy!

If you could live Martina’s life for her, how would you live it differently?

Martina is successful in her job helping other people, giving her vision to others.  I can make part of the evolution very important.. She wants to feel wellness while being aware of it and giving it to others.  She invented a very good wellness sport.  She wants to have a magic wand to transform herself and others.

If you could live Martina’s waking life for her today, would you handle Martina’s life issue differently?  If so, how?

I am transforming into a white wolf by Martina’s side…I am more aware of myself that way. But as the expanded white energy I don’t want to turn into a wolf.  A wolf is not as fast and is on the Earth…

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Martina to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

When she has many things to do and she doesn’t want to have so much weight of responsibilities.  She would not take on the responsibilities of others.

Monster, do you do drama?  If not, why not?

No!  I transformed into white; before I did I was black and I got into drama.

What is your secret for staying out of drama?

I fly.  I don’t take responsibility for others.  I let them take care of themselves.

Why do you think that you are in Martina’s life?

Because I want to help her!

How is Martina most likely to ignore what you are saying to him/her?

Because she keeps taking care of others instead of herself.

What would you recommend that she do about that?

She can imagine me as a white energy that surrounds her that protects her from hurt and allows her to come back into balance.

Martina, what have you heard yourself say?

I need to give up taking too much responsibility for others.

If this experience were a wake-up call from your soul, what do you think it would be saying to you?

That tonight when I go home I don’t focus on problems but on what is going well in my life.  I won’t have nightmares any more of failure – to catch a plane.  A bright smile; to be aware of myself and to take care of my health.

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